What I expected when I started this was to get a gold digger to respond to my posting and feign interest in me to get to my concert tickets. I expected email responses telling me how I'm totally their type and that their ideal man would also enjoy this band. I thought that they might at least go as far as to jump through the little hoop of going out once before the show (and I figured they would expect I would be paying on that night too) to get to know them. And I thought that the possibility existed that one of them would be foolish enough to give it up to get the tickets.
From this I was going to provide you, the readers, with detailed descriptions of the gold diggers, pictures if possible and a retelling of the interactions with the most skilled of the bunch.
At the end I was going to present you with the one I crowned "Top Golddigger" .
Well apparently the modern gold digger is lazy.
The typical response from these ladies looked something like this:
** have u found anyone yet i love the foo fightes and i live in ***** **** let me know i want to see them but they only have bad seats left**
That was copied directly from a response I received, the only edit was to omit the respondents location.
Not only did they not even try and disguise their want to use me for my tickets, but they didn't even bother to use punctuation. At that point I knew that even if I did get one of them to meet me I would want to put a dagger in my eye within 10 minutes.
So instead of you getting a breakdown of the Internet gold diggers and me possibly getting some gold digger sex, you get a single post about said subject and I get to cry for humanity.
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